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Lost In The Wilderness (Never Ask Bigfoot For Directions)First off, if you are ever lost in the wilderness never ask Bigfoot for directions. He hates tourists and smells horrible. All he is going to do is give you bad directions that will probably lead you off of some high cliff that you will never see coming where you will fall hundreds of feet to a garden of jagged rocks sticking up above the water. What? Oh, sorry. I forgot that we are trying to get out of the wilderness and all of this jagged rocks talk probably isn't helping. Stop Wandering Around! The first thing I want you to do is to sit down and stop wandering around muttering to yourself. You need to conserve your energy because you never know how long you will be out here. Ok, now how much food and water do you have with you? None? Well this is off to a good start. This is still not a reason to panic as the wilderness is full of berries and fresh water so that is not a problem. Just make sure you don't eat any poison berries and no I do not know how to tell the difference. Just be careful. How about just climbing the tallest tree you see and then checking out the view from up there? I mean, if the tree is tall enough and it is a nice day out you should be able to see for miles. So start climbing and map out your escape route. Just remember to never ask Bigfoot directions. I cannot stress this enough as it is very important. |
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